Me, A Wannabe.

Photo: Me with a temporary tattoo.

Me // I’ve been through a lot in my life. It’s not always been easy not knowing where you’re going to go or if things are going to work out. Over the years I’ve been hit with so many things it’s left me with scars all over the place. Not just the kind you can see though, but the kind you can’t see. I’ve been through a lot it goes without saying. Over the years I’ve made many mistakes. I’m about as flawed as I can be. I’m also wiser than I am old. —- But I still make mistakes and live in my mistakes.

Atheist blogger // ”I don’t think I’m strong enough”, will then soon become – “You’re not strong enough.” “I don’t think this is right,” becomes – “That is wrong.” When people are against you, for whatever reason they have chosen to be so – anything they can expose as “flaw”, anything they could even possibly try to use as a weapon against you – trying, all the time, every minute of each hour of every day, to wear you down to the breaking point – because, everyone has one.

Atheist’s Grave.

Death, it has always the most captivate, dark, unknown and sometimes scariest part of the lifeprocess – for those who believe in an afterlife and for those who don’t alike.

I’ve never wanted to be buried in a church cemetery with a cross over my head. Reminds me of the joke “All dressed up and no place to go“. A cross that I never had much respect for. Its not exactly the cross that I don’t have respect for. Its the people who used it that is the reason for my lack of respect for an ancient symbol that survived centuries of history.

When does a person become dead? Is it when the heart stops beating? Is it when the last pulse rushes through the brain? Is it when the eyes die? When does death of a person become scientific and not emotional? Is it when the last person they knew die? or is it when last person that knew them dies?

How to Change the World

Blog image by XYZ 

Act of Random Kindness.

A small note on how to change the world. Now don’t think that I just saw Bruce Almighty and wanted to put it out on my blog. I have seen the movie many times but it is not the reason for this blog entry. This entry goes out to all my Theist and Atheist readers, as well as all those stuck in between.

A few days ago, I was thinking about the word “Activist”. I want to make alot of changes in the world that we live in, or more like, the world a group of us live in. Atheists.

Recipe For Perdition.

Atheism.

Religion is like breakfast. Its the most important meal of the day and without it, nothing goes the way you want. It gives you the energy to keep moving, to keep trying in your day’s work even if its not easy.

I like wine with my meals and quite often, I drink more than I should. My bottle of wine represents a lot of things. Its the draught that relieves me of my stress, It was my savior’s blood, and then, its a part of the recipe for perdition.

To betray your own blood is a sin. Then what of betraying god’s blood? When I used to go to church, I promised to Jesus that I will always stand for what he stood for, as a thanks for the things he has done for me. I used to have my meal only after grace. Then I find myself walking another path, one in which I’m no longer keeping my promise. One that I chose over my promises. I drink to the fact that I’m no longer governed by the Bible. What happened to me?

Logical Heaven

-An Atheist’s thoughts on heaven, a logical one.

(Started writing this story when I was in Bahrain. Finishing it in Bangalore, an year later.)

The church was a warm comfort compared to the cold outside, and my footsteps created a solid echo that was hampered only by the low murmur of conversation and the dull explosion of fireworks. I followed a pretty little girl inside as she looked for a good spot to sit in as I looked around the beige walls and hard brown pews. She sat near the aisle and knelt in prayer before I even found a place to sit or had a chance to take my jacket off. I looked over her with pondering eyes; her head bent for the wooden cross that hung on the opposite wall. I had looked up into his sorrowful, understanding eyes and gave a nod of respect before sitting down.

This was a new experience for me. I had been to The Sacred Heart church in Manama many times before, usually consisting of a rabble of children trying to covertly talk during the sermon while fending off the biting cold. The last time I had been in church was when I was alone looking for the old writings on the walls of the mother church that I wrote when I attended bible classes in this church. The more I learned the bible, the more I walked down the path of being an Atheist. This was different though. This was a friendly place. I don’t believe in the Heaven described in any religious textbooks, but I’m just trying to think through a Logical Theists’ (Don’t laugh! they do exist, I think) perspective. A Logical theist is a person who don’t reject Logic and Scientific proofs of creation, but still believe in the fundamental concepts of Theology.

The loud tolling of the bell in the distance echoes throughout the hallow walls of the gigantic church. The large double doors swing open, light pouring into the dimly lit place. I walked out into the bight light with alot of thoughts in my mind. The effect of the place was spectacular. My thoughts were silenced, as if everything was answered. For a moment, it felt like heaven.

Isn’t it always hard for the Atheist ?

Every now and then, I get emails telling me to join religious forums, messages from friends telling me to try praying or sometimes I even end up in conversations that has deviated from its original topic and finally down to a point where everyone wants to know why I’m an Atheist, Why I don’t believe, Why I don’t go to a church, Why I never even try praying or even what Atheism really is.

I’m not here to answer all these questions. I’m just trying to get viewpoints from other Atheists who have been riding this band wagon for sometime and is tired of explaining to pretty much everyone around about their Atheism. I’m tired of all the questions, pointing and awkward faces.

Atheists (most of them) are able to adjust with people who are religious. There is nothing wrong with religion, and there is nothing wrong with not believing in religion, AS LONG AS you don’t shove it down someone else’s throat. The problem is when it stops showing us the path through our lives and we attempt to influence others with it. I have come to a point of neutrality, which is simply this. Worship (or chose not to) and let worship (or chose not to). This is easy for most weak atheists, humanists, agnostics, and other non-believers to accept and practice. Every so called “nice” believer might also take this co-existing path. Then, why is it so hard for An Atheist to do things his way?

Ninja Atheist

Atheists have always been at the forefront of rational thinking and beacons of enlightenment, here’s my way of Standing Out. I just got myself a new helmet with custom design. It has my title “Atheist” with a chineze-wappaneze font (glows in the dark too) =]

Atheists are far more numerous than most people realize. They are everywhere! The bus you take in the morning, your office, the cab driver, and even more possibly, in your family. 90% of my readers are Atheists. I had conducted a survey previously which gave me disturbing results.

The only card I got for Christmas, er, Yule.

I received an email from Dad from Bahrain on christmas eve for the first time in a very long time and at first, I thought it was a christmas wish –until I clicked it open. I knew my dad wouldn’t dare wish me for christmas and I was right. My Atheism is what made us not see eye to eye; so if he values god more than family relationships, then be it. Instead, it contained this….

From: Dad
Subject: Fw: Scan Data from FX-262344

Dear Mr Ruben,

Today there is a card for you from US. Scan copy attached. The cover is
Red in colour.

Short and to the point (whats there to talk between us anyway). Someone sent a card to my Bahrain address and dad scanned it and mailed it over. Its not like him to do this, but whatever. I downloaded the attached scan data and opened it. To my surprise, it was this…

Atheist Christmas – PART 3

Lets go back in time to December of 2002, and we will return to the Part 3 of my original blog entry for December 25, 2006.

The story of a Catholic Teenager turned Atheist – finale

Silence, Reverence, & Peace…

The hallmarks of a Church. I just wish that the new age understood this before they had decided to take their previously unexpressed teenage angst and inflict it upon the Church and Christianity. I lived and still live amongst Christians. I understand Christianity much better than most of the true believers out there. After spending 12 years in bible classes, many years of church every single day (when I lived in Bahrain) & rest of the years, I visited church only on Sundays (after coming back to India). My knowledge about what I am and what I wanted to become was at a turning point. I had my path chosen already. The path of god. No, I wasn’t going to be a priest. I wanted to be out there helping people. The poor, those who are hungry, those who lack spirit. To give them strength, hopes for a better tomorrow. But my faith was to be put to an ultimate test.

i STILL hate Christmas.

It is that time of the year when Atheists around the world prepare to not welcome the cold, commercialized, false cheeriness, horrible hugs, wishes and fake smiles that mask the underlying social-political back stabbing–also known as Christmas.