Logical Heaven

-An Atheist’s thoughts on heaven, a logical one.

(Started writing this story when I was in Bahrain. Finishing it in Bangalore, an year later.)

The church was a warm comfort compared to the cold outside, and my footsteps created a solid echo that was hampered only by the low murmur of conversation and the dull explosion of fireworks. I followed a pretty little girl inside as she looked for a good spot to sit in as I looked around the beige walls and hard brown pews. She sat near the aisle and knelt in prayer before I even found a place to sit or had a chance to take my jacket off. I looked over her with pondering eyes; her head bent for the wooden cross that hung on the opposite wall. I had looked up into his sorrowful, understanding eyes and gave a nod of respect before sitting down.

This was a new experience for me. I had been to The Sacred Heart church in Manama many times before, usually consisting of a rabble of children trying to covertly talk during the sermon while fending off the biting cold. The last time I had been in church was when I was alone looking for the old writings on the walls of the mother church that I wrote when I attended bible classes in this church. The more I learned the bible, the more I walked down the path of being an Atheist. This was different though. This was a friendly place. I don’t believe in the Heaven described in any religious textbooks, but I’m just trying to think through a Logical Theists’ (Don’t laugh! they do exist, I think) perspective. A Logical theist is a person who don’t reject Logic and Scientific proofs of creation, but still believe in the fundamental concepts of Theology.

The loud tolling of the bell in the distance echoes throughout the hallow walls of the gigantic church. The large double doors swing open, light pouring into the dimly lit place. I walked out into the bight light with alot of thoughts in my mind. The effect of the place was spectacular. My thoughts were silenced, as if everything was answered. For a moment, it felt like heaven.

Seven Falls Makes a Rider

It was dark, and it was minutes after the rain has stopped. As I rode along a small stretch of road, I came up to a long sweeping bend. That’s what it looked like, anyway. And it was bigger than the tiny sharp ones I’d been encountering a while back. I realize now that the speed I took the corner at was too fast. I was at roughly 40kmph and increasing. Due to the speed I was traveling at, I had to take position near the inside of the white line in the middle of the road.

Then there was a lorry. In a split second, I was given a load of information at once; the lorry was over the white line and on my side of the road. The corner had suddenly dipped down and banked away sharply to the right. It wasn’t the long sweeping bend I thought it was. I had to straighten up, I had to avoid the lorry that I was going to ram into any second.

I threw the bike upwards from its leaning position, fingers tugging almost cautiously on the front disc brake. Even in this panic, I felt the front wheel skid under my harsh braking and I let go of the brake. I knew, even in these brief moments and amongst the faint panic, that there was no point in braking. I couldn’t stop. I was going to hit the wall on the left side of the road. The corner had narrowed immensely at the heart of the bend. So I didn’t brake. I didn’t want to lock up the front wheel and go sliding. I was moments away from the point of no return. I touched the back brakes with my shoes, I felt it slowing the speed and getting grip. I don’t remember shifting my position. A second later, I was leaning the opposite way (bike was still in the same posture) and all I could see was blinding headlights of something big right behind me. I felt boxed in, and all of a sudden the light disappeared. I only heard my right mirror hit something big and heavy on my right.

I think I forgot how to blog.

I have been sitting for almost two hours and all I came up was this crappy blog title and now I don’t know what to put in it. Maybe its because I’m on a very slow internet connection or maybe its because when I logged on after a long time, I didn’t have any new comments or emails to read (Hmm… my readers seem to have abandoned me-maybe I abandoned them). Or maybe, its because I just lost how to blog.

There were times when I could lean on my pillow with the laptop on my knees and type to my hearts content, ah! how I enjoyed the joys of a laptop. But now, I’m literally lost.

Since I have lots of things to say and got no Idea how to do it, I better put it all down the way it comes out.

Lets see now, my last blog entry was about my trip back to Cochin.

Back 2 Cochin.

Its midnight in Bangalore.

We start our little 600KM long road trip to cochin within 2 hours. My sister, her hus and Evelyn is sleeping, getting ready for the drive home. Bro is driving all the way from Bangalore to Cochin (Man! how I wish I could take Pegasus for such a trip). We will pick up my bro-in-law’s bro on our way too. I haven’t visited Cochin in a very long time. I’ve missed Rosh, Ash for so long (AJ, my third best buddy moved to Bangalore recently).

This is just a small update and to let everyone know that I’ll miss yall. See ya back in bangalore next week.

-Ru =]

PS: Erm, for those of you who subscribed to the blog by email, my  FeedBurner has been experiencing some slight technical extinguished-burn-abilities so, I just checked it up and from now on, you should all be receiving emails each time I blog, hopefully.

Engineers! Ready, Set, GO!

Till yesterday, I thought my computer science department was full of geeks. I never knew that computer geeks were all born bikers. =]

Our last internal exam was on March 12th, the day after my birthday. Since it was an objective based paper, everyone got out of the hall within 10 minutes. We were all just sittin by when someone mentioned the park. We all took out our steeds and took off to the park near our college. And once were there, we were just chillin out when all of a sudden someone said, “Dude, the falls is just 20kms from here”. Little did we know that its not, It was a whole 35 kms away.

The day was awesome. Swimming, Trekking, Rock climbing and what else, more Biking!!

The day reminded me about a song from RDB. Here is a remixed version of the song by a bunch of some college students making you feel the colors of college life.

Too tired to type anything more. I hope the photos & Video speak more.

Me out!

Birthday Bumps

It was my Birthday yesterday.

For the first time in my life, I celebrated something I don’t like. Thats right, I just hated the idea of “birthdays” and now I know why. It was simply because I never had a birthday with people I love. My friends made it a very special day and something that I can never forget.

So my best two “Girls-who-are-friends” did the best they can to make it a special day for me. It was a double internal exams day but they both left college after the first exam and told me that they didn’t prepare for the computer paper and that they are not giving the test. But I decided to write the exam anyhow because programming is the only subject I’m sure I’ll pass (not to mention full marks).

When my exam was over, I got a call from them and they told me to head over to the mall. I took Pegasus out of the parking and took off to the mall. I had no idea what to expect. It didn’t even cross my mind that they would have actually planned soomething for today. I was just expecting just another day at the mall.

I was given directions where to find them on my way to the mall. I parked Pegasus under the mall and went upstairs to find them. Once inside McDonalds, they had a cake (Chocolate, my fav) and everything ready for my unexpected birthday party. It was really fun, and once I cut the cake, Jessy & Chotu (Neema) painted me all over with the cake’s icing. I was in no position to react and honestly, I really didn’t know what to do. And while we were there, a bunch of people playing Truth or Dare at another table had dared a guy among them to propose Neema. That gave her the same unexpected shocked expressions that I went thru half an hour ago. Anyhow, I had a fun great evening. Thanks Jes, Neema =]

My birthday wasn’t over that easy!

9PM – Me & The boys hit the road.

After the party back at the mall, I was about to knock on my friend’s door when I noticed all the Bikes parked on the houses’ side. By the looks of it, I knew the day wasn’t done. All together, there were 7 bikes (including mine) and we take two on each bike – that’s a total of 14 guys from my class.

The first thing that came came to our minds was Brigade, the most happening place in Bangalore if you wanna party late night. An hour past midnight, we stopped playing snooker & got out of the Pub totally drunk and had dinner somewhere near. According to Indian Standard time, my birthday got over at 2.30am since I was born in Bahrain. I have no clue how much money was burnt that night, but it was well worth it. No, it was freakin’ AWESOME!!

We raced back home on the empty roads of Bangalore.

[piclens-lite-link]

Accidental Blind Date

I met a girl today evening.

It was just like any other day when I took Pegasus out for a spin. After sometime, I got a call from from a girl in my class and she told me to drop by a place somewhat near to my hostel. She called me since she were near my place and thought I’d be around. It was 5 pm in the evening, so I turned around and went to the mall where she said she will be waiting. I parked Pegasus and looked around for them before I called back. There were three of them. Two were my best girl-friends and the third, was someone I never saw before.

One Shot, Hot Shot!

This is an open letter to R.V; my x-best friend.

Of all people, I never expected you to act this way.
You knew me so well, but why slid away?
Was it something I did,
or was it something you said?

I’ve made choices before, better or for worse.
Now it don’t even exist, not even a casual discourse.
You were so close, too close.
I put you somewhere you don’t belong, I know the lose.

You knew it, hot shot! it was you first chance,
I’m out of words to fill in the sentence.
You let it by; the denial – it felt so real.
The scars you left, these wounds will not heal.

My shadow is the only one that walks beside me,
You were in my way, not letting me see.
Sometimes I wish you never changed,
To fix the wrongs and the hearts you damaged.

I’ve got better friends, trying not to make me feel the lack.
No matter what, or after how long, I’ll never take you back.
I know you won’t apologize. Or even feel regret,
I’ve put you away, like a burnt out cigarette.

Its over RV, This is the last blog entry subscription email you will ever receive. I’m removing you from every page of my life. This is not my choice, this is what you made me do. You avoid me in college, the corridors and stick with my foes. You left me hanging, in a dead city. And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away as I realize that all this time you were pretending. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you so early, I doubt you planned this from the beginning. You showed your true colors in the end, but this time it missed me by a hair. It’s nice to know that you were there. Thanks for acting like you cared.

Good bye.

Stoned Poetry

Stoned poetry below this line.

Dysfunctional

My throat aches with pain, literally burns inside each time I take in a puff from the half burnt cigarette in my hand. The smell of smoke fills the insides of my nose when I exhale. I doubt if its taste of my own burning skin on the insides of my throat.

I’m suffering from heavy fever thats been going on around and severe tonsillitis. I’ve a sore throat and I seem to have lost my voice. I can’t speak for more than 30 seconds in one go. I’m too weak to keep up with my schedule and things seem to get even tighter with people demanding lots of things from me. Nothing seems to be right and everything is a mess.